The Shallow End
Frustration
What's the causation?
Help me.
I-I need to breathe.
Begging for validation,
I am...
I am.
A short breath out when
I need attention.
My breath is caught;
My heart is racing.
I am lost in a world so full
of lies & expectations.
What do we need to do?
Please help me,
help me
out of this hole reality
has dug
through these standards.
I just can't be
me.
Stress rhymes with mess -
Which summarizes
who I've been
for the past 17 years.
Make no mistake,
I'm not perfect.
But instead, I'm never worth it.
I mean, thats just how I feel inside of
my mind.
Short of breath,
hair's a mess.
Constantly filling myself with lies;
time after time.
Reminding everyone around me,
reminding those who feel I'm the one to despise.
Help me
find out who I truly am,
instead of the girl
with a mask
forced to pretend;
and please her fellow man.
& her peers,
who just don't understand her fears,
these trials
that she endures.
Out of breath.
Frustration
Misery
Stress
and Depression
always find me quicker than
love could --
or just so it seems
That's a shame,
but not your loss..
At least you are happy.
Low self esteem,
no confidence - ever for show.
A ghost of one
who could've
who would've
who should've
but just didn't.
Happiness is trivial,
it's not guaranteed.
Save yourself now -- live for you today,
because even the most selfless
find themselves
begging
for recognition.
jmp.
I'm sorry. You shouldn't feel that way. I shouldn't feel that way. I wish you a happy life, with little sympthomes of your sle dear. I know, it is so hard, but you are so strong - you don't even know yet. I was 17 when I was diagnosed after over a year with testing and wondering - fearing - what the hell was wrong with me....i am now 25, last sunday..After figuring out what it was,it got so much better tho'! I have had some really good years up until a couple of years ago. The best advice I could give to anyone with lupus; listen to you body, and then go to the doctor if you're in doubt! I never do, so when I get sick I AM SICK! Feeling so much better again now, and I really hope that you do soon as well (saw this link to your blog on a lupus support team group on facebook, you're just diagnosed?) Wish you all the best sweetie, live well.
ReplyDeleteLove frim a fellow lupie in Norway✋❤